they are having their honeymoon sex part of the relationship now. Fucking, sucking, and all that good stuff. I understand that there are only so many ways for a man and woman to be intimate with each other but the idea of her being with him just like she was with me makes every time she was with me seem so much less. It isnt even really her fault, this is just who she is. she becomes whatever the other person needs until it wont suit her anymore. then she will just keep clinging on until she finds a way out. i wish her well, maybe i was the last mistake she will make, and this time she will be happy. I do want her to be happy but at the same time i also want her to hurt like I do. Confused and sad is where i am rignt now, i need to move on but do not know how.
…till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.”
- Pablo Neruda
“Went to bed late…” I know what that means. She can just move on, she is like a machine from one to the next, and jumps in head first (or ass first whatever the case may be). I am glad he finally made his move, she hates not being wanted. I feel sorry for him in a way because in a few years he will be me. She changes people forever by entering their lives, but destroys them when she leaves. The messed up part of all of this is I still want her. I still need her. I know what she did with him, i know how she will make him feel, and i still want her.
she is just a lying bitch, who was looking for a way out, and was overjoyed when one was presented. It was a blessing for her to have me leave, and the sweetest revenge in the world for her is knowing I want her back and teasing me with it.
She screwed around on my and i forgave, but there is no shoe on the other foot.
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i was right the whole time. you found someone else. i knew it. see this is all you needed, now you can feel complete again. you will form yourself into being his perfect half, this is what you do. this is the special kind of creature you are. You make everyone feel at ease and comfortable, you ride that feeling as long as you can. Then something else will get your interest and things will start to erode only the other person cannot see it until it is too late and you have decided to move on.
This guy seems more your speed than I was, same interests, closer in age, no existing obligations, you could possibly have a very happy life together. I wish you well. Be careful though, he is the only guy you have been in contact with. You have a habit of tossing all the eggs in one basket. I don’t want you to date around but if i cant be with you then i want what is best for you and that would be to keep your options open. Being in a relationship is not what defines you! You are so much more than any coupling.
I love you, so much that I want you to be happy. With me would have been better, but I think we can both see now that would never have happened. Funny it doesn’t make me want it any less. He is a lucky man, until you rip his heart out too.
that i was strong enough to just end it all. I cant, but if i could i guess it wouldnt be worth it anyway. she would only be relieved by my death as she is by my not being in her life. she has now TOTALLY moved on. Goodbye my love. I will love you until i die, and it will kill me every single day. i hope one day you can think of me and remember something good, good is all i can remember about you.
I love you.
Happy New Year.
why play this game? dont look at my stuff/blog when you can just talk to me!!! is your need to know you’re needed that great that it justifies fucking with me like this? YOU KNOW I KNOW so STOP or even better, please reach out to me.
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i dont know if you read my blog (the real one) or not, and if you do you are probably looking for me to be mean, but i don’t want to be. i want you to know how much i love you, and that i think about you, and i care for you, i want you to be well. i wish it was well with me, but that isn’t what you wanted in the end. for you at least this is for the best i guess. A part of me hates that, but there was and still is nothing i can do at this point. you have taken to calling me a lost cause, a stalker, referring to me as something to get over, i am no longer even a real person in your mind. i am a caricature of something dark and evil, and anything that was ever good is lost. That may be what hurts the most.
she did it, closed the door and nailed it shut. she couldnt be honest and just flat out tell me no chance, no hope, and she hates me, she had to give me some bullshit that she cant ever talk to me because a part of her still loves me and she cant move on. That is so fucked up and bull. I left her, yes - then she left me. she was the one who made it forever. she must just want me to hurt, to leave me with that last strand of hope so i can hang myself with it. If i thought for a second she would even shed a tear i might, but i think she would just be happy that the psycho is dead.
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